Mindful Spectating
The Super Bowl. Maybe you watched it, maybe you didn’t. If you watched it, what did you notice? Were you immersed? Were you thinking of other things? Were you thinking you should like it more or less than you do, and were therefore more absorbed in self-judgment than the game itself?
If you didn’t watch the Super Bowl, what did you do instead, and were you fully immersed, fully participating by feeling flow, in the zone with the experience? Or, were you fixated, possibly negatively, on the Super Bowl playing on TV in the other room, and unable to focus on what you were doing without feelings of frustration and anxiety creeping in?
Days like Super Bowl Sunday present a great opportunity to use DBT skills, whether you like the event so many other people are involved with or not. If you join in the event on some level, you might observe how the waves of emotion and excitement, as well as disappointment and frustration, affect you. Do you get swept up in your team scoring, or missing an important play? Are you able to observe the emotion, and then let it go? Or, do you ruminate on the myriad ways your team could have played better—is it difficult to enjoy the game non-judgmentally? Is it difficult to enjoy it when your team is losing? Are you attached to winning, and feel good only when you’re team is ahead?
If you don’t get involved, or, if you feel absolutely frustrated by the fact that so many others are into something you don’t enjoy, what do you observe then? Do you ruminate on the negative emotions? Is it hard to avoid judgmental thoughts that bounce between the game, the commercials, and the people in your home or family who are into the game? What do you notice in yourself? Thoughts and sensations? Were you able to detach through observe skills, and to participate fully in something you enjoy more, letting others have their fun?
One important “how” skill in the core mindfulness module is “effectively,” as in, taking hold of your mind effectively. It isn’t effective, nor does it feel good to hold onto frustration over something you can’t control, like a sporting event you might not be into that occupies most of an entire Sunday, or, the team you like losing the most important game of the year. If your goal is to enjoy the game, then you can practice the skill of focusing on what works, while not getting wrapped up in the play that should have been made, or what the weather should have been like in the stadium. If your goal is to avoid the game, then maybe you can observe what comes up for you while the game plays on TV in the other room, and then choose something you like to do, and commit to doing it completely, one-mindfully concentrating your mind.
This year’s Super Bowl is over, but the week ahead is sure to bring many new opportunities for observing yourself as you confront activities, events, and situations that you don’t enjoy, or perhaps those that you intend to engage in, but find that you can’t for some reason. Something disappointing, even minor, is sure to happen. What skills will you use to mindfully observe yourself in the moment so as to get through as effectively as possible?